I'm a "don't"

I see myself with one of those black bars across my eyes in some parenting magazine's article on sleep . There's my picture (with the black bar) and the subtitle above it reads: what not to do.

Most of my family and friends know that my children have sleep problems - so this is not new information. Additionally, I have never been a good sleeper. (In fact, I recently found out that my pediatrician prescribed "happy drops" when I was a baby so I would go to sleep. What the hell is that about? I asked my mom what they were - but she doesn't remember). However, when your kids are not good sleepers - that is a bigger problem. I am up and down so much during the night that I'm getting a couple of 2 hour naps every night. Lauren wakes up 1-3 times a night and Kelan wakes up once but comes down and crawls into bed with me (and Dan goes up to Kelan's bed - our nighttime game called musical beds).

So last night I went to a sleep class to try to gain some knowledge on what to do to help our situation. I put Lauren down early so I could leave her home with my husband, Dan, and Kelan (she fell asleep pretty easily because she didn't take her afternoon nap - whether or not she would stay asleep was a whole other issue). It was a small group of about 7 families (I say families, because everyone had their partners with them, except one pregnant woman). But that wasn't the big kicker for me (I remember the days when Dan and I went to classes like these together.... now we use the "divide and conquer" approach to evening events). Half of the class were pregnant couples. The other folks had newborns. Okay, one family had a 4 month old. My youngest was 8 months older than the oldest kid in the class. These people didn't have problems. I have problems. I haven't gotten real sleep in almost three years! That said, if I had gone to one of these classes way back when, maybe I would have. That may have been my first mistake.

I consider myself a pretty good mom and have helpful advice on occasion, but tonight in this class I felt like an idiot. I was the only one there with two kids - so I do have more actual experience as a parent - but as I was introducing myself and giving a brief description of my "issue" you could just feel every one's horror with my sleep issues. In fact some of the fathers to be looked down right frightened.

Some of the new parents were offering up their own advice to the parents to be (what's the best swaddling blanket? pacifier? nursing to sleep? co sleeping?). I felt I couldn't say anything. Like everyone would remember what I said and use it as their prime example of what NOT to do. They had heard my story and would NOT want it to happen to them. Sitting in the classroom I felt like a big DON'T.

I stayed after class to talk with the instructor to get some personalized help, until I got the call. Come home - NOW. Lauren had woken up 10 minutes after I had left the house (and had been fussy ever since) and now Kelan was awake. I arrived home at 9:45pm to the relief of my husband and to the joy of my children. My evening had JUST begun.