Happy Sunday

Today is mother's day. I may be one of the few mothers that thinks it's not a big event. It still seems like a forced day to celebrate. In reality, I think EVERY day should be "mother's day" - but I'll settle for a mother's day (read: free day) once a week.

I didn't grow up celebrating mother's day. My mother never made a big deal about it - so I didn't think it was something (I guess I always missed that HUGE section in the Hallmark stores - how that is possible, I don't know). In fact, when I went to college, and mother's day rolled around, everyone was ordering flowers, sending cards, buying gifts and planning big brunches. I remember thinking to myself, what's the big deal? Do people really celebrate this? Was I being mean by not even calling my mom? Most years, it never occurred to me, but as got older and my social circle widened beyond my immediate family and childhood friends, I realized that most people made a big fuss over this day.

Fast forward to mother's day 2004. I am pregnant with Kelan and we're having my husband's parents up for the day to celebrate his mother's birthday and .... mother's day. I had been celebrating this "combination" with my in laws for a couple of years now (I'm "pro-birthday" - we were all born, but felt it silly to celebrate mother's day). I felt that I could do this combination one more time, because I wasn't a mom yet (as a mom I really did not want to celebrate it). But I got the "Happy Mother's Day" well wishes anyway (I was a mom to be and that seemed to count). In the big picture of what actually matters, who cares really about celebrating or not celebrating this day. We were spending time with family and that is what counts.

Nope. I still don't want to celebrate mother's day. It's a made up day and don't want to take part in the party.

I actually had a conversation with my mother-in-law about why it was so important to her and why I don't "believe in it" for myself. She told me that she was born on mother's day (her birthday is on May 11th and some years it lands on the DAY itself). She always felt very close with her mother and it was their day (she's the oldest of her siblings - great mother's day present for her mother the year she was born). Well that is special. That makes sense to me. I told her that my mother raised me not to give it a thought - so it was hard for me to think it was important. We reached an understanding.

Now I find myself going out of my way to avoid celebrating the day. It's actually hard. One year I planned a trip to Houston (to visit my mom) and was traveling back to Seattle on mother's day - can't celebrate, I'm out of town. I have had the in laws out to visit the weekend before Mother's Day - to celebrate birthdays and not mother's day.

However this year my aunt and uncle came up to Seattle for a visit and brought Goode Co. BBQ and pecan pies (our family travels with food). We had a lunch today at my grandparents. I tell myself that I went for the food and family - but there's the "hovering" mother's day out there that I can't quite get away from.

Since I have had to go out of my way to NOT celebrate these past couple of years, I have developed an ill will towards this day. Before I did not even know which day it was (much less which month), but now I have to be prepared because it will find me and I need to be ready.

I know that I should get over it, but I'm not there yet. I figure if it is "my" day, then I can choose not to celebrate it. So for today - I'll just wish everyone a happy Sunday.