As a stay at home mom, my children go EVERYWHERE with me. My own private posse. This is why I am a stay at home mom - to spend time with my children - but when Kelan and/or Lauren are having an "off" day (or the day turns into something more than we bargained for) my outing can be quite challenging.
Kelan and Lauren have become "regulars" at my chiropractor's office and I have even managed to get rolfed with Lauren (who was an infant at the time) sitting on my lap. Grocery shopping has now become so second nature with both kids, that I can get in and out of the store (with the stuff I need) in under an hour. The key is to lock Kelan into the cart's baby seat and put Lauren in the basket with the groceries. I imagine this will work for not too much longer - she's now standing in the cart waving at the other customers. They have gone to my OB/GYN appointments, the dentist, my regular doctor, clothes shopping (trying on clothes IS a challenge), you name it - we've done it together.
This morning I went to the gym, with the kids in tow, to swim. They do have childcare there, so I don't have to take them in the pool with me, however they do make the trip downtown. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I swim for a half hour and then quickly shower and retrieve the kids (all done in an hour - needless to say I'm leaving the gym not looking quite the way I would like).
I started swimming two days a week as part of my training for the Danskin Triathlon in August, but this hour has turned into something more important to me. It is so incredibly ... MINE. My head is in the water for a half hour, so I don't hear too much except splashing. I can think about the day's activities, process my thoughts, or just count laps. It doesn't matter. I hear no crying and I am not responsible for diapers, food, runny noses, or conflict disputes.
There's usually not too many people there late morning - however one day every lane was occupied when someone came into the pool area to swim. I was just waiting for him to ask me to share my lane and I was actually planning on telling him no. I was going to explain to him that this was my ONLY half hour to myself in the whole day and since I can't go to the bathroom by myself, I felt I did not have to share my lane. He did not ask. My mommy selfishness/rudeness averted.
Yesterday I actually went to the grocery store by myself (my husband was home sick and stayed with the kids while I shopped). I got to use one of those new "fancy" carts - you know, the double decker one that no mom with kids can use. It was uplifting. I zipped around the store with so much ease that I was forgetting some items on my list. I realized this and said, "we forgot the oatmeal!" I would like to say that I said this to myself, but that is not the case. I said it out loud for any shopper to hear. I started to laugh at myself further proving that I was the crazy lady in the store.
Even though I need some private time during the day, I guess I need my entourage to make me look a little bit less crazy - or at least to be the visible reason as to why I am.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Happy Sunday
Today is mother's day. I may be one of the few mothers that thinks it's not a big event. It still seems like a forced day to celebrate. In reality, I think EVERY day should be "mother's day" - but I'll settle for a mother's day (read: free day) once a week.
I didn't grow up celebrating mother's day. My mother never made a big deal about it - so I didn't think it was something (I guess I always missed that HUGE section in the Hallmark stores - how that is possible, I don't know). In fact, when I went to college, and mother's day rolled around, everyone was ordering flowers, sending cards, buying gifts and planning big brunches. I remember thinking to myself, what's the big deal? Do people really celebrate this? Was I being mean by not even calling my mom? Most years, it never occurred to me, but as got older and my social circle widened beyond my immediate family and childhood friends, I realized that most people made a big fuss over this day.
Fast forward to mother's day 2004. I am pregnant with Kelan and we're having my husband's parents up for the day to celebrate his mother's birthday and .... mother's day. I had been celebrating this "combination" with my in laws for a couple of years now (I'm "pro-birthday" - we were all born, but felt it silly to celebrate mother's day). I felt that I could do this combination one more time, because I wasn't a mom yet (as a mom I really did not want to celebrate it). But I got the "Happy Mother's Day" well wishes anyway (I was a mom to be and that seemed to count). In the big picture of what actually matters, who cares really about celebrating or not celebrating this day. We were spending time with family and that is what counts.
Nope. I still don't want to celebrate mother's day. It's a made up day and don't want to take part in the party.
I actually had a conversation with my mother-in-law about why it was so important to her and why I don't "believe in it" for myself. She told me that she was born on mother's day (her birthday is on May 11th and some years it lands on the DAY itself). She always felt very close with her mother and it was their day (she's the oldest of her siblings - great mother's day present for her mother the year she was born). Well that is special. That makes sense to me. I told her that my mother raised me not to give it a thought - so it was hard for me to think it was important. We reached an understanding.
Now I find myself going out of my way to avoid celebrating the day. It's actually hard. One year I planned a trip to Houston (to visit my mom) and was traveling back to Seattle on mother's day - can't celebrate, I'm out of town. I have had the in laws out to visit the weekend before Mother's Day - to celebrate birthdays and not mother's day.
However this year my aunt and uncle came up to Seattle for a visit and brought Goode Co. BBQ and pecan pies (our family travels with food). We had a lunch today at my grandparents. I tell myself that I went for the food and family - but there's the "hovering" mother's day out there that I can't quite get away from.
Since I have had to go out of my way to NOT celebrate these past couple of years, I have developed an ill will towards this day. Before I did not even know which day it was (much less which month), but now I have to be prepared because it will find me and I need to be ready.
I know that I should get over it, but I'm not there yet. I figure if it is "my" day, then I can choose not to celebrate it. So for today - I'll just wish everyone a happy Sunday.
I didn't grow up celebrating mother's day. My mother never made a big deal about it - so I didn't think it was something (I guess I always missed that HUGE section in the Hallmark stores - how that is possible, I don't know). In fact, when I went to college, and mother's day rolled around, everyone was ordering flowers, sending cards, buying gifts and planning big brunches. I remember thinking to myself, what's the big deal? Do people really celebrate this? Was I being mean by not even calling my mom? Most years, it never occurred to me, but as got older and my social circle widened beyond my immediate family and childhood friends, I realized that most people made a big fuss over this day.
Fast forward to mother's day 2004. I am pregnant with Kelan and we're having my husband's parents up for the day to celebrate his mother's birthday and .... mother's day. I had been celebrating this "combination" with my in laws for a couple of years now (I'm "pro-birthday" - we were all born, but felt it silly to celebrate mother's day). I felt that I could do this combination one more time, because I wasn't a mom yet (as a mom I really did not want to celebrate it). But I got the "Happy Mother's Day" well wishes anyway (I was a mom to be and that seemed to count). In the big picture of what actually matters, who cares really about celebrating or not celebrating this day. We were spending time with family and that is what counts.
Nope. I still don't want to celebrate mother's day. It's a made up day and don't want to take part in the party.
I actually had a conversation with my mother-in-law about why it was so important to her and why I don't "believe in it" for myself. She told me that she was born on mother's day (her birthday is on May 11th and some years it lands on the DAY itself). She always felt very close with her mother and it was their day (she's the oldest of her siblings - great mother's day present for her mother the year she was born). Well that is special. That makes sense to me. I told her that my mother raised me not to give it a thought - so it was hard for me to think it was important. We reached an understanding.
Now I find myself going out of my way to avoid celebrating the day. It's actually hard. One year I planned a trip to Houston (to visit my mom) and was traveling back to Seattle on mother's day - can't celebrate, I'm out of town. I have had the in laws out to visit the weekend before Mother's Day - to celebrate birthdays and not mother's day.
However this year my aunt and uncle came up to Seattle for a visit and brought Goode Co. BBQ and pecan pies (our family travels with food). We had a lunch today at my grandparents. I tell myself that I went for the food and family - but there's the "hovering" mother's day out there that I can't quite get away from.
Since I have had to go out of my way to NOT celebrate these past couple of years, I have developed an ill will towards this day. Before I did not even know which day it was (much less which month), but now I have to be prepared because it will find me and I need to be ready.
I know that I should get over it, but I'm not there yet. I figure if it is "my" day, then I can choose not to celebrate it. So for today - I'll just wish everyone a happy Sunday.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I'm a "don't"
I see myself with one of those black bars across my eyes in some parenting magazine's article on sleep . There's my picture (with the black bar) and the subtitle above it reads: what not to do.
Most of my family and friends know that my children have sleep problems - so this is not new information. Additionally, I have never been a good sleeper. (In fact, I recently found out that my pediatrician prescribed "happy drops" when I was a baby so I would go to sleep. What the hell is that about? I asked my mom what they were - but she doesn't remember). However, when your kids are not good sleepers - that is a bigger problem. I am up and down so much during the night that I'm getting a couple of 2 hour naps every night. Lauren wakes up 1-3 times a night and Kelan wakes up once but comes down and crawls into bed with me (and Dan goes up to Kelan's bed - our nighttime game called musical beds).
So last night I went to a sleep class to try to gain some knowledge on what to do to help our situation. I put Lauren down early so I could leave her home with my husband, Dan, and Kelan (she fell asleep pretty easily because she didn't take her afternoon nap - whether or not she would stay asleep was a whole other issue). It was a small group of about 7 families (I say families, because everyone had their partners with them, except one pregnant woman). But that wasn't the big kicker for me (I remember the days when Dan and I went to classes like these together.... now we use the "divide and conquer" approach to evening events). Half of the class were pregnant couples. The other folks had newborns. Okay, one family had a 4 month old. My youngest was 8 months older than the oldest kid in the class. These people didn't have problems. I have problems. I haven't gotten real sleep in almost three years! That said, if I had gone to one of these classes way back when, maybe I would have. That may have been my first mistake.
I consider myself a pretty good mom and have helpful advice on occasion, but tonight in this class I felt like an idiot. I was the only one there with two kids - so I do have more actual experience as a parent - but as I was introducing myself and giving a brief description of my "issue" you could just feel every one's horror with my sleep issues. In fact some of the fathers to be looked down right frightened.
Some of the new parents were offering up their own advice to the parents to be (what's the best swaddling blanket? pacifier? nursing to sleep? co sleeping?). I felt I couldn't say anything. Like everyone would remember what I said and use it as their prime example of what NOT to do. They had heard my story and would NOT want it to happen to them. Sitting in the classroom I felt like a big DON'T.
Most of my family and friends know that my children have sleep problems - so this is not new information. Additionally, I have never been a good sleeper. (In fact, I recently found out that my pediatrician prescribed "happy drops" when I was a baby so I would go to sleep. What the hell is that about? I asked my mom what they were - but she doesn't remember). However, when your kids are not good sleepers - that is a bigger problem. I am up and down so much during the night that I'm getting a couple of 2 hour naps every night. Lauren wakes up 1-3 times a night and Kelan wakes up once but comes down and crawls into bed with me (and Dan goes up to Kelan's bed - our nighttime game called musical beds).
So last night I went to a sleep class to try to gain some knowledge on what to do to help our situation. I put Lauren down early so I could leave her home with my husband, Dan, and Kelan (she fell asleep pretty easily because she didn't take her afternoon nap - whether or not she would stay asleep was a whole other issue). It was a small group of about 7 families (I say families, because everyone had their partners with them, except one pregnant woman). But that wasn't the big kicker for me (I remember the days when Dan and I went to classes like these together.... now we use the "divide and conquer" approach to evening events). Half of the class were pregnant couples. The other folks had newborns. Okay, one family had a 4 month old. My youngest was 8 months older than the oldest kid in the class. These people didn't have problems. I have problems. I haven't gotten real sleep in almost three years! That said, if I had gone to one of these classes way back when, maybe I would have. That may have been my first mistake.
I consider myself a pretty good mom and have helpful advice on occasion, but tonight in this class I felt like an idiot. I was the only one there with two kids - so I do have more actual experience as a parent - but as I was introducing myself and giving a brief description of my "issue" you could just feel every one's horror with my sleep issues. In fact some of the fathers to be looked down right frightened.
Some of the new parents were offering up their own advice to the parents to be (what's the best swaddling blanket? pacifier? nursing to sleep? co sleeping?). I felt I couldn't say anything. Like everyone would remember what I said and use it as their prime example of what NOT to do. They had heard my story and would NOT want it to happen to them. Sitting in the classroom I felt like a big DON'T.
I stayed after class to talk with the instructor to get some personalized help, until I got the call. Come home - NOW. Lauren had woken up 10 minutes after I had left the house (and had been fussy ever since) and now Kelan was awake. I arrived home at 9:45pm to the relief of my husband and to the joy of my children. My evening had JUST begun.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Want to dance?
Kelan likes to dance. Lauren does too (although her dancing is more like the sit down twist). We dance a lot during the day to music at home, in the car (a buckled in version, of course), to me singing, and to TV theme songs. Yep. Everyday during quiet time I put on one of Kelan's favorite PBS programs (Sesame Street, Thomas and Friends, Bob the Builder, Dragon Tales, Clifford...) wanting to immediately start MY time, but I have learned that in order to avoid a melt down, I must dance.
I have learned the words to most of the songs and sing along with Kelan at the beginning of EVERY show. Normally I have to hold a Thomas the train (or one of his many friends) while dancing. The beginning of these shows only last for 15-20 seconds, but sometimes feels like its forever when I have to go to the bathroom, put Lauren down for a nap, eat something, chat with a friend (the phone is a definite no no during dancing) or one of my many tasks I have to do in my "free" hour. It gets especially tough when some of these programs are only 6-8 minutes long and they have a new song at the beginning of every episode (yes, I have to dance at every theme song during quiet time).... or when Elmo sings during Sesame Street.
However when I see Kelan's face while dancing - I am reminded that it is all worth it. His smile is pure joy. Isn't this why I am a stay at home mom? These little moments are WONDERFUL to share with my kids. How long will I get to sing and dance with my children - how long will they want me to? So when I hear the question (as I will inevitably will), "Mommy, want to dance?" My resounding answer will be...YES!
I have learned the words to most of the songs and sing along with Kelan at the beginning of EVERY show. Normally I have to hold a Thomas the train (or one of his many friends) while dancing. The beginning of these shows only last for 15-20 seconds, but sometimes feels like its forever when I have to go to the bathroom, put Lauren down for a nap, eat something, chat with a friend (the phone is a definite no no during dancing) or one of my many tasks I have to do in my "free" hour. It gets especially tough when some of these programs are only 6-8 minutes long and they have a new song at the beginning of every episode (yes, I have to dance at every theme song during quiet time).... or when Elmo sings during Sesame Street.
However when I see Kelan's face while dancing - I am reminded that it is all worth it. His smile is pure joy. Isn't this why I am a stay at home mom? These little moments are WONDERFUL to share with my kids. How long will I get to sing and dance with my children - how long will they want me to? So when I hear the question (as I will inevitably will), "Mommy, want to dance?" My resounding answer will be...YES!
Monday, May 7, 2007
My new blog...
I am constantly talking about my kids and my highs and lows as a parent with everyone and anyone who will listen. I was inspired to create a blog by my mother's (Rockbridge Times) and my sister's (Welcome to Sunnyside) blogs.
I continue to be amazed at what moms do for their children (me included). My children, Kelan - almost 3 years, and Lauren (almost a year) keep me chasing after them 24 hours a day. Seriously, it does not end with "night night". That is only the beginning. In fact right now (after lunch) is my favorite time of the day - quiet time. Lauren is napping and Kelan is watching one of his favorite PBS programs. It is about the ONLY time of the day I can process a thought, eat lunch, rotate the laundry, email (or now - blog), make any number of house maintenance calls, clean the kitchen, go to the bathroom alone or just sit and not do anything. Of course, this like any other time is subject to change without notice.
I have an intensely energetic 2 1/2 year old. Seriously. He stopped napping at 21 months. He runs and runs all day long. Grabbing everything he can see, climbing everything that will hold him (he's a big kid - about 38 pounds) or not, and thinks of things to do that I haven't even fathomed. I think he is a lot like me when I was little - but with added "boy energy". My "mom's curse" worked ("I hope you have kids just like you..."). He can open (and unlock) doors and run outside within milliseconds. This coupled with Lauren, who is crawling faster everyday (and now standing - more things for her to grab and stick in her mouth) - makes for an interesting day. Additionally, both kids are incredibly vocal about their needs/wants and dislikes. Kelan's "I'll do that" and "not like it" are constant phrases in his repertoire and Lauren has learned to grunt and whine so loud to grab my attention away from Kelan (this has got to be a 2nd kid thing...).
This is the hardest job I have ever had, but wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe a couple of hours each week for myself... I dedicate this blog to my children (angels) for everything that they bring into my life - the good, bad, funny, sad, hysterical, irritating, sweet, sticky, happy, smelly, messy and wonderful.
I continue to be amazed at what moms do for their children (me included). My children, Kelan - almost 3 years, and Lauren (almost a year) keep me chasing after them 24 hours a day. Seriously, it does not end with "night night". That is only the beginning. In fact right now (after lunch) is my favorite time of the day - quiet time. Lauren is napping and Kelan is watching one of his favorite PBS programs. It is about the ONLY time of the day I can process a thought, eat lunch, rotate the laundry, email (or now - blog), make any number of house maintenance calls, clean the kitchen, go to the bathroom alone or just sit and not do anything. Of course, this like any other time is subject to change without notice.
I have an intensely energetic 2 1/2 year old. Seriously. He stopped napping at 21 months. He runs and runs all day long. Grabbing everything he can see, climbing everything that will hold him (he's a big kid - about 38 pounds) or not, and thinks of things to do that I haven't even fathomed. I think he is a lot like me when I was little - but with added "boy energy". My "mom's curse" worked ("I hope you have kids just like you..."). He can open (and unlock) doors and run outside within milliseconds. This coupled with Lauren, who is crawling faster everyday (and now standing - more things for her to grab and stick in her mouth) - makes for an interesting day. Additionally, both kids are incredibly vocal about their needs/wants and dislikes. Kelan's "I'll do that" and "not like it" are constant phrases in his repertoire and Lauren has learned to grunt and whine so loud to grab my attention away from Kelan (this has got to be a 2nd kid thing...).
This is the hardest job I have ever had, but wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe a couple of hours each week for myself... I dedicate this blog to my children (angels) for everything that they bring into my life - the good, bad, funny, sad, hysterical, irritating, sweet, sticky, happy, smelly, messy and wonderful.
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