Poop

I am so tired of poop. There is always poop happening in my life. Today was no different - although the circumstances were harder. Let me explain.

This morning I decided that I would take Kelan and Lauren to the beach - never mind that the blue skies I saw early this morning have turned to gray. It is summer goddammit, I am going to the beach. I load the kids in the car (after painstakingly applying sunblock, putting on swimsuits, gathering up snacks/water, a change of clothes, a towel, the beach toys, and Kelan's favorite dump truck) and head to Golden Gardens. We get to the beach and I unload everything and let the kids run free. Kelan looks up at me - Mommy, I have to poop. Great. The bathroom is way over on the other side of the beach, and I have Lauren plus all of our belongings (not only all the above mentioned items, but also my diaper bag that has my wallet in it). I think for a minute. Kelan, come with me, we are going to go poop in the bushes.

I walk with Kelan and Lauren over to some bushes that are close by so I can keep an eye on our stuff. Kelan, showing extreme willingness, obliges me and drops his pants, holds my hands and leans back into a squat. Lauren is standing next to me as a witness. I was so proud of Kelan for doing this outside. Really I was. This could have been a disaster (lots of crying and complaining - he likes his privacy when it comes to pooping). But he went with the flow and released an enormous load. Although I had not quite thought ahead - I should have dug a hole so I could have buried it. Hmmmm... what do I do with it (no ,I did not have a bag - and I did not like picking up my dog's poop years ago, I cannot imagine how I would feel picking up Kelan's). I went on a search for a big stick or rock to help flick the poop further into the bush (I cannot believe this is how I am spending my morning). Kelan and Lauren are watching me do this and asking many questions. What are doing? Trying to bury the poop. Why are you burying the poop? So no one steps in it. Why would someone step in it? And so on. Finally, mission accomplished.

Just before we leave the beach I am changing Lauren from her wet suit to a dry outfit. I am about to remove her swim diaper when I realize that she has pooped. Perfect. Did I mention that she has an incredible diaper rash? Oh, and she has been sitting in the wet sand for quite sometime so there is tons of sand in the diaper as well. So now I am wiping poop and sand from Lauren's raw and angry bottom while she is screaming for me to stop. Where is that hose when you need it?

This afternoon I decided that we would go to one of the park's wading pools (I am also thinking that this is my chance to make sure all the sand is out of Lauren's bottom - I was not sure if I had gotten it all throughout the screaming earlier at the beach). I load the kids in the car - again (after applying sunblock, putting on swimsuits, gathering up snacks/water, a change of clothes, a towel, the beach toys, and Kelan's favorite dump truck - again). We get to the pool only to realize - no pool. There has been a mix up with the Park's Department. Perfect. Kelan runs around in the empty wading pool with his truck. Lauren goes to sit in the...sand (her poor bottom). Kelan then comes up to me - Mommy, I have to poop. I think to myself - you have got to be kidding me.

Luckily there is a restroom at the park (why are all public toilets so gross?). Kelan proceeds to strip down (he likes to poop naked - how I managed to bypass this at the beach, I do not know). So now I am walking in and out of the restroom to keep an eye on Lauren and our stuff while Kelan is singing on the toilet happily pooping.

I guess I should not complain about the poop. On the bright side, Kelan is telling me he has to poop and he does not have any accidents. And both kids do not seem to have any issues with their bowels. These are positive things. Poop is good.