Trader Joe's

I should have not gone to Trader Joe's today. It was hell. In fact we almost did not make it - but for some reason I was determined. Why I continue taking my children grocery shopping with me is a mystery (except maybe I do not want to use what little free time I have for chores). Some days they are quite well behaved and somewhat helpful. Today was not one of those days.

After parking the car I notice I have forgotten my wallet. Shit. There is nothing to do but go home and get it - every errand I want to do this afternoon requires it. Kelan has already undone his seat belt. Lauren is dying to get out of the car. Nope. We have to go back home. I spend the majority of the ride home explaining (and re-explaining) that Mommy forgot her wallet and we need to go home to get it.

Half hour later we arrive back at Trader Joe's. Since the kids have been sitting for the duration, they are quite animated once we get inside. Great. Kelan is helping me get lots of things we do not need. Lauren is desperate for a snack (first aisle they have cheese sticks - thank goodness).

I am barely managing to get the things on my list, much less, control the kids. I should have given this shopping trip up when I forgot my wallet at home. But still, I am pushing through. Then I physically run into someone with the cart/kids. I look up and say excuse me, then realize that this is a person I know.

Now it must be said that when you leave the house looking like hell, you are going to run into to someone you know. It is also going to be someone that you have not seen in a long time. Lastly, it will be someone that you wanted to look good in front of (especially hair), and sadly that is not going to happen. The thing is - I rarely go out of the house without good hair. My friends will tell you I style my hair everyday - curlers, product, roller brush, hairspray - a refined process (it is a sickness - I know). So here I am with my hair up in a clip, a zip up fleece, jeans that have the cuffs so wrinkled up that they now highlight my beat up shoes, and the oh so timely breakout situation on my chin. Lovely.

No, this is not an ex-boyfriend. Worse. It is my ex-hairdresser, Robert. Here is a man who not only cut my hair for about 10 years, but who I hung out with socially for a period in my life. After I broke up with him in search of a new stylist (I just felt I needed a change) we remained friends but fell out of touch. I have a husband, kids and go to bed around 9:30pm. He does not. Robert is a wonderful person and it is great to see him, but dammit, I have bad hair!

Adding insult to injury, I have the misfortune of parking my cart near a vertical pole that has about 20 beef jerky bags clipped to it. Lauren proceeds to pull every bag off throwing them to the floor. Kelan thinks this is funny so he starts doing it too. Robert thinks this is the funniest of all and encourages the wreckage. Now just pull the bags off and throw them on the floor. Clearly he does not have children. No mom would dare say such a thing. Frantically I turn to Robert (while trying to clip the bags of beef jerky back on the pole) and say half jokingly, shut up! Kelan then turns to Robert and says shut up. Perfect. I corral the kids back into the cart - away from the fucking beef jerky - say my goodbyes to Robert and head down the aisle. I am exhausted.

For the remaining aisles, Kelan is constantly asking, are we done yet? Oh how I wish we were. Finally we make it to the cashier. Kelan decides to dance (and boy does he have moves) and Lauren is helping pass items to the clerk. There is a woman standing near me who says you sure have happy children. How very true. I do have happy children and that makes all the chaos seem worth it - sort of - I am still wishing I had good hair today.