My children do not hear me. I am joking - sort of. In addition to loving my children unconditionally, my tasks as a parent in raising them center around teaching them how to be/function in this world and to keep them safe. My job would be a lot easier (hell, I would settle for somewhat challenging) if my children would listen to me. But I guess that is not their job. I have deduced that at times I must sound like the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon because my words have no meaning.
Today we went to the Starbucks just above the Children's Museum at Seattle Center (I needed a coffee - I could feel a challenge about to start) and Kelan took off to see the giant train set up in the food court for the holiday. He ran away so fast when we got inside that I did not even have time to explain the rules of the outing. So now I am calling for Kelan (who is in sight and totally fine - although I am making a mental note to make an appointment to check his hearing which is clearly the problem - he is totally deaf). All while I am juggling the double stroller, Lauren, the diaper bag, and my coffee order. In hindsight I could have started this outing a different way, but that does not help me now.
I sometimes think I look like one of those crazed mothers who cannot control their children in public (come to think of it, I am one of those crazed mothers who cannot control their children in public). But in my defense, it is not for a lack of discipline. Kelan and Lauren are not allowed to run completely wild, but I have been forced to adapt to who my children are what they need (and how they learn). As a parent (and the adult in the relationship) this is my job. I often stare in disbelief at parents whose children stand right next to them and hang on their every word. It is safe to say I do not know what that is like.
When Kelan makes up his mind to do something and/or does not want to pay attention, he will not hear you. My sister, Caroline, mentioned to me that she had heard some young children get so caught up in what they are doing, that they physically cannot hear you. If that is true - I have a textbook case.
At my monthly parent education class (part of my committment for Kelan's Co Op preschool) each parent got to talk about one thing that your child does at school that drives you crazy. I spoke about Kelan not listening. How, at times, I have to get on my knees and gently (but firmly) hold his face in my hands, ask for his eyes and listening ears before he will hear me. Sometimes he does, other times I feel like I am trying to get the attention of a Stevie Wonder impersonater. Kelan's teacher nodded her head knowingly while I shared my troubles. She then explained that one of her sons was the same way. It is just who they are. A teacher with sympathy - wonderful. No quick fix - discouraging.
I need to find a better way to communicate with Kelan and Lauren when they are distracted (awake) because I want them to be safe and to learn how to be good people. Because both require a certain amount of instruction from me that must be heard.
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2 comments:
Ahhhh, yes. Seemingly not listening. I think they are listening but they chose not to respond as we would like them to; this seems to go on for a very, very l o n g time. And, when they are all grown up they don't always listen either....:>
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