Poop

I am so tired of poop. There is always poop happening in my life. Today was no different - although the circumstances were harder. Let me explain.

This morning I decided that I would take Kelan and Lauren to the beach - never mind that the blue skies I saw early this morning have turned to gray. It is summer goddammit, I am going to the beach. I load the kids in the car (after painstakingly applying sunblock, putting on swimsuits, gathering up snacks/water, a change of clothes, a towel, the beach toys, and Kelan's favorite dump truck) and head to Golden Gardens. We get to the beach and I unload everything and let the kids run free. Kelan looks up at me - Mommy, I have to poop. Great. The bathroom is way over on the other side of the beach, and I have Lauren plus all of our belongings (not only all the above mentioned items, but also my diaper bag that has my wallet in it). I think for a minute. Kelan, come with me, we are going to go poop in the bushes.

I walk with Kelan and Lauren over to some bushes that are close by so I can keep an eye on our stuff. Kelan, showing extreme willingness, obliges me and drops his pants, holds my hands and leans back into a squat. Lauren is standing next to me as a witness. I was so proud of Kelan for doing this outside. Really I was. This could have been a disaster (lots of crying and complaining - he likes his privacy when it comes to pooping). But he went with the flow and released an enormous load. Although I had not quite thought ahead - I should have dug a hole so I could have buried it. Hmmmm... what do I do with it (no ,I did not have a bag - and I did not like picking up my dog's poop years ago, I cannot imagine how I would feel picking up Kelan's). I went on a search for a big stick or rock to help flick the poop further into the bush (I cannot believe this is how I am spending my morning). Kelan and Lauren are watching me do this and asking many questions. What are doing? Trying to bury the poop. Why are you burying the poop? So no one steps in it. Why would someone step in it? And so on. Finally, mission accomplished.

Just before we leave the beach I am changing Lauren from her wet suit to a dry outfit. I am about to remove her swim diaper when I realize that she has pooped. Perfect. Did I mention that she has an incredible diaper rash? Oh, and she has been sitting in the wet sand for quite sometime so there is tons of sand in the diaper as well. So now I am wiping poop and sand from Lauren's raw and angry bottom while she is screaming for me to stop. Where is that hose when you need it?

This afternoon I decided that we would go to one of the park's wading pools (I am also thinking that this is my chance to make sure all the sand is out of Lauren's bottom - I was not sure if I had gotten it all throughout the screaming earlier at the beach). I load the kids in the car - again (after applying sunblock, putting on swimsuits, gathering up snacks/water, a change of clothes, a towel, the beach toys, and Kelan's favorite dump truck - again). We get to the pool only to realize - no pool. There has been a mix up with the Park's Department. Perfect. Kelan runs around in the empty wading pool with his truck. Lauren goes to sit in the...sand (her poor bottom). Kelan then comes up to me - Mommy, I have to poop. I think to myself - you have got to be kidding me.

Luckily there is a restroom at the park (why are all public toilets so gross?). Kelan proceeds to strip down (he likes to poop naked - how I managed to bypass this at the beach, I do not know). So now I am walking in and out of the restroom to keep an eye on Lauren and our stuff while Kelan is singing on the toilet happily pooping.

I guess I should not complain about the poop. On the bright side, Kelan is telling me he has to poop and he does not have any accidents. And both kids do not seem to have any issues with their bowels. These are positive things. Poop is good.

Kinda Crunchy

Last night as Dan and I were getting into bed, Dan brushed the crumbs? from our sheets before he laid down. I knew the kids had been playing in our bed and I thought Kelan may have gotten some dirt in the bed so I asked Dan what it was. He did not know, but he thought the sheets were kinda crunchy. Eew. So gross. And quite frankly, a little embarrassing. Yet, here I am publicly writing/telling everyone about it.

I started to think back, when had I last washed my sheets? Well, I know I had been in the habit of washing them when Kelan peed in the bed. Which - when he was coming down every night to sleep with me - was often, so I knew my sheets were getting cleaned at least once or twice a week. That got me thinking, when was it that Kelan stopped crawling into bed with me and Dan at night? Oh my god, it was a month or so ago - which means... oh my god, my sheets are really really really dirty. Eew. So gross. Needless to say, my sheets are in the washer today - on hot with bleach.

It is funny, though. Since having children, my standards have changed. Just today I used my own shirt to wipe Kelan's nose. I also watched (not prevented) Lauren dip her rice cake in the sand/water and eat it (I noticed another mom watch her do this as well. She made a face as she scanned the moms at the beach to see if one of them was going to come and stop the buffet. I did not). I would think that the taste and texture of the sand alone would be a deterrent. Nope.

As a parent, I guess my gross sheets are on par with everything else. Kids are messy. I'm always wiping something. But for tonight, my sheets will be clean.

Mommy's Bed

For better or worse my bed (uh...me and Dan's bed) is used for many activities. One of my favorites, other than being sound asleep for about 9 uninterrupted hours (which NEVER happens - ever), is when Kelan and Lauren crawl into bed with me and cuddle in the morning. I would like to emphasize cuddle, I am not a fan of the mommy attention tango they do where kicking and climbing on me is involved. We like to snuggle close and sing (I have many songs floating around in my head from my 13 wonderful years at an all girls camp in Tennessee). We usually start with "Way Up in the Sky" - a good morning song that has hand motions that the kids love to sing with me.

I love the weekends even more because Dan is home in the morning and it is wonderful to have us all there together. Plus I like it when Dan sings with the kids, because it is funny to hear one of our songs sung off key with deleted and made up verses. But that is part of the moment too, the kids do not seem to notice, much less mind, and they are so happy to have Daddy with them.

Mommies' beds in general must be magnetic - it draws all kids in. To this day I am still drawn to my own mother's bed when I am in her house. This is where some of our best conversations are. Maybe the bed is the heart of the family. You are safe, sound, comfortable and close.