You Should Be Proud of Me

Kelan is back in underwear after a week of diarrhea (some stomach thing going around). This is only important because he has been in Pull Ups for a week, which has gotten "us" a bit behind (read: regression) in making it to the potty on time. Tonight was no exception. Kelan was upstairs playing with his new train table (which is maybe why he did not say a word when he let loose a big poop in his underwear). After the load was released, he started asking for help - with his train table - NOT the poop situation. Dan went upstairs and realized the REAL problem (which was NOT the train table). Kelan was quickly escorted downstairs and turned over to me.

Where to begin. We start with the shirt - it can be used as a clean surface to place all poop clothing. Next the shorts - which are wet, hopefully from pee. Then the underwear......S L O W L Y. Kelan is directed to stand - without moving - on the shirt and the dry part of the shorts because he has poop ALL OVER his bottom, thighs and legs. Maybe I have become a cheapskate and do not want to buy more underwear, maybe I don't want to create more landfill or maybe I'm just too tired to think about it. But I start cleaning his underwear by holding it in the toilet while flushing it and swirling the underwear itself. It takes two flushes before I can even bring it out of the toilet to place on the pile of clothes Kelan has now been given permission to leave. I now start to baby wipe Kelan's lower half.

It has been a long day after a long couple of sleepless nights (Lauren is teething) but I seem to be managing this very gross clean up when Dan finally makes an appearance in the bathroom to start running the water for bath time. "You should be proud of me," he says, "I no longer have to use a tissue to get the hair out of the drain. I can just use my fingers." Excuse me? Hair in a drain? Can you not see what I am doing? How about poop.... everywhere. Please, I could lick the hair out of the drain at this point. I'm so tired that my only response is to start laughing so hard I cry. I point out his faux-pas and he begins to laugh too.

It's these moments that I cherish. Seriously. I love laughing so hard that you cry and it's even better with the person you love. I am proud of Dan, although it is not because he can now remove hair from a drain without a buffer, it is because he is a great father and husband. I know he is proud of me too - or at least grateful - that I did a super job on poop duty tonight.