Just a Little Help and Kindness

This morning while the kids were eating breakfast I noticed that my husband, Dan, had circled an article for me to read in the Seattle PI. It was about how a father tried to take his toddler and baby in the stroller on the bus (loaded with groceries) only to be ordered to collapse the stroller and carry the bags, kids, and the stroller itself on board. Metro bus rules. So instead of a "compactly loaded vehicle with baby and toddler inside, [they] have a tangle of wheels, metal bars, bags and towels spread across the aisle and two howling kids to hold. Profuse perspiration, high stress. And no seat." Turns out that the bus driver still had a problem with this father (the stroller - apparently - was not collapsed enough) and in turn asked the father to get off the bus. Seriously.

I was incensed! In fact, there were many comments online against this poor father who had tried to have one less car on the road on a Sunday. I immediately wrote a letter to the editor in support because I too have been asked to collapse my stroller with a new baby and toddler in tow. It is a nightmare to juggle and carry a baby, toddler, stroller and diaper bag onto a bus. Adding insult to injury, I wasn't even offered a seat (people are definitely possessive of their seats here - I remember when I was 9 months pregnant with Kelan. I rode the bus home every day after work and lost track of how many times I had to stand with my fat swollen throbbing feet with my huge belly protruding into the other passengers at each jerk and stop of the bus - but that's another story).

It's now after lunch and I am still upset about all the comments made to this father about how he should not subject the rest of the bus riding public with his stroller and kids, that he should have just taken his car, etc. These ignorant people seem to think they came to this world by themselves, and dammit that's the only person they are going to look out for (you just know these are the same people who talk loudly on their cells in crowded buses). To hell with the mothers and fathers out there who need just a little extra help. I know for me, that the smallest gestures (like offering to take my grocery cart back to the store after I have unloaded groceries and kids) can often turn my day around if I'm having one of those challenging moments.

I am reminded of the time I took Kelan to his first movie. Disney's Ratatoullie was playing at our neighborhood theater and I took Kelan to the 12 o'clock show. Kelan was playing with the seat and climbing in and out of it when I noticed this prissy little man glare at me. I tried to make nice by explaining that this was his first time in a theater and that he would be sitting for the movie (note that the lights had not even dimmed at this point). He looked at me and said, "I hope so, or we can move". Excuse me? Did he just cop an attitude because he thought his little movie experience at a kid's film during prime kid hour would be compromised by a kid? If it was that important to him, maybe choose another time? He actually decided to move before the lights went down but I noticed that karma got him and his boyfriend because a family with a crying baby and toddler sat down right next to him. I couldn't help but smile.

I'm even amazed at the reproachful looks I get at times when our family is out to eat - at family friendly restaurants. I have seen couples wanting to have an intimate dinner at a family friendly restaurant at 5:30-6pm (prime kid hour) give me dirty looks! Go to a different restaurant if you don't want to hear little voices and some baby cries. We do not go to non family restaura
nts out of respect of other diners - you never know what you're going to get with Kelan and Lauren (and they are actually quite good in public). In fact, Dan and I even tip more than we used to because of the mess we leave.

I know kids can be challenging and there are those people who do not want to be around them. Fine. But you need them more than you realize. Our children (who already have a debt when they are born due to the mismanagement of this Administration - but I digress) will be the ones working, governing, and caring about us when we are old. It actually is in your best interest to be kind. That's all we're asking.