Pediatric Punch Card

Kelan got stitches (well, one stitch) this morning. He's not even three years old and he's had stitches twice, a split lip/gums (3 times), a black eye and countless bruises, cuts and scrapes. My sister even made him a t-shirt a year ago with a picture of the Fight Club pink soap and the quote, "The first rule of Fight Club, is that you do not talk about Fight Club". I think we need the next size up.

Lauren is not to be outdone. Last week we spent many hours over a couple of days at the pediatrician's office and the local children's hospital (for tests). Lauren - we assume - had a horrible stomach "thing" which gave her diarrhea (of course), high fever, irritability, loss of appetite and extreme diaper rash. No one could quite figure it out - but not due to a lack of testing (or attempt to test). She had her blood drawn, many attempts to get a urine sample - I won't even elaborate other than to say this is NOT fun - and she was poked and prodded. Finally she started to feel better this past weekend. Symptoms are now gone.

You would think I could be in the clear for awhile and not have to go back to our pediatrician's office. I was wrong. If I wasn't so worried about Kelan's bleeding gash on his forehead this morning, I might have been more embarrassed. As I walked into the waiting room, I stole a phrase from Kelan's "Vegas" repertoire, "I'm back!".

We must have looked ridiculous. Kelan was in a t-shirt, diaper and his red rubber rain boots - no shorts - and a big piece of gauze stuck to his forehead with a band-aid holding it in place. Lauren was in a long night gown of sorts and no shoes. I was decent only because Kelan's fall happened after I finished getting dressed. But with emergencies, you can not plan to have them when you are "ready", so you wear what you have on (or in Kelan's case, not have on).

I counted up the times I was either at the pediatrician's office or the children's hospital in the past week: FIVE! My punch card is full - I should get my next visit for free.