Pediatric Punch Card

Kelan got stitches (well, one stitch) this morning. He's not even three years old and he's had stitches twice, a split lip/gums (3 times), a black eye and countless bruises, cuts and scrapes. My sister even made him a t-shirt a year ago with a picture of the Fight Club pink soap and the quote, "The first rule of Fight Club, is that you do not talk about Fight Club". I think we need the next size up.

Lauren is not to be outdone. Last week we spent many hours over a couple of days at the pediatrician's office and the local children's hospital (for tests). Lauren - we assume - had a horrible stomach "thing" which gave her diarrhea (of course), high fever, irritability, loss of appetite and extreme diaper rash. No one could quite figure it out - but not due to a lack of testing (or attempt to test). She had her blood drawn, many attempts to get a urine sample - I won't even elaborate other than to say this is NOT fun - and she was poked and prodded. Finally she started to feel better this past weekend. Symptoms are now gone.

You would think I could be in the clear for awhile and not have to go back to our pediatrician's office. I was wrong. If I wasn't so worried about Kelan's bleeding gash on his forehead this morning, I might have been more embarrassed. As I walked into the waiting room, I stole a phrase from Kelan's "Vegas" repertoire, "I'm back!".

We must have looked ridiculous. Kelan was in a t-shirt, diaper and his red rubber rain boots - no shorts - and a big piece of gauze stuck to his forehead with a band-aid holding it in place. Lauren was in a long night gown of sorts and no shoes. I was decent only because Kelan's fall happened after I finished getting dressed. But with emergencies, you can not plan to have them when you are "ready", so you wear what you have on (or in Kelan's case, not have on).

I counted up the times I was either at the pediatrician's office or the children's hospital in the past week: FIVE! My punch card is full - I should get my next visit for free.

I HATE Potty Training

We started potty training Kelan a couple of days ago. I HATE potty training. Why is it called potty training? They should just call it poop and pee on the floor training. I have realized that I do NOT have the patience needed for this - I may be changing Kelan's diaper until he's married (then his new bride can take over). I actually have a lot of patience for what my children "put out there" - but this is a whole new level.

People have told me that when you are potty training, this is all you do. They couldn't be more right - you really can't do ANYTHING else. Therein lies the problem. Kelan is actually fine on the potty and has peed and pooped many times, but now we're on a schedule every morning (sit on the potty the same time every day...) and I don't think he likes it. So while Kelan sits on the potty Lauren and I sit on the floor in the bathroom.

Sounds simple. But this is what is really going on: Kelan is getting on and off the potty (going against my constant reminders to sit), he's playing with the toilet paper, his feet, the toilet itself, saying he can't, then peeing a little bit, then peeing on the toilet seat and sliding off the toilet through the fresh pee. Meanwhile Lauren is crawling and somewhat walking around bumping her head on the sinks, playing with the toilet, then getting fussy because the bathroom door is closed. I open it and then she starts to climb the stairs (this is her FAVORITE activity). I get up and rescue her from the stairs, Kelan follows me. Then we all go back into the bathroom and start the whole routine over.

I'm trying to follow the "plan" which is to put Kelan on the potty at the same time every day and then put him in his underwear for an hour (the underwear helps him feel the sensation of pee and poop). Back to the potty for a bit and back in his underwear for another hour. Then the potty and finally the diaper (yay!).

I just can't stand the underwear time. He's peeing on the floor, pooping in his underwear, not telling me he has to go (and most times I ask him if he has to pee or poop - he says no and then goes on the floor). I remain calm (on the outside - but inside I am just getting angry and frustrated) and say, "it looks like you've had an accident, let's got sit on the potty." But then I have Lauren making a bee line for the pee/poop so I have to grab her, clean the mess, make sure Kelan is indeed on the potty and the whole thing starts over.

I want someone else to do this. I am exhausted by 10am and have no patience left for the rest of the day. - I'm totally frazzled. Today was especially hard, because after I put Kelan's diaper on - thank god, I proceed to get myself dressed so we can leave the house. I finish putting on my shirt and hear a "clunk" and turn around just in time to see Lauren falling down the stairs (she was only up about 4 stairs, but they are not carpeted so it does hurt). She whacked her head and started screaming. This all happened within a matter of seconds. So now I scoop up Lauren - make sure she's relatively okay, order Kelan to follow me to the car - we were going to the pediatrician's office! Lauren stopped crying within 3 minutes or so, but I was a wreck at this point so I needed a rational/sane person to tell me she was going to be okay. She is, thankfully.

Experts say to relax, it will happen (and so will accidents). My friends say this is just a messy time. I agree.

Begas Bacation

That's what Kelan's called it (he has trouble with his V's) however, I would call it a Vegas ADVENTURE. Vacation is NOT a word I would use - and probably will never use - to describe traveling with children.

The plan was to find sun, water and pampering. We were on a budget (and I wanted some extra luxury - like water-side beverage service) so the ocean was out. We settled on Las Vegas because we were able to get a great package deal with airfare and hotel (5 nights). The trip was all set - we were going to stay at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino (all the research pointed us to this hotel for kids...) - I couldn't wait! I had my new miracle suit (the "lose 10 pounds in 10 seconds" kind of suit), sunblock, sunglasses, toys and floats for the kids - we were set!

My husband and I are lucky that our children travel well. We have a mini DVD player for the plane that kept Kelan occupied and Lauren pretty much slept. But just because they travel well, doesn't mean it isn't work. We were EXHAUSTED by the time we got to the hotel (the kids are heavy, the luggage is heavy, the car seats are heavy...).

The first room we were sent to had two double beds (I had requested a king - so the kids could sleep in between me and Dan). This room would not work. I called the front desk and fortunately they were able to find us a room with a king bed - getting into the room was another matter. They said they could change the code on the keys to let us in the new room without us having to go back to the desk. Here's to the joys of technology! Too bad it didn't work. Now we are trying to corral two tired cranky kids in the hallway while they send someone up to help us. I started to get cranky and decided to go down to the front desk myself (of course they arrived the minute I got into the elevator). This is only important, because I got a new set of keys that invalidated the keys Dan was getting. So we had several "lock outs" the first couple of days because of which keys we had when. It just became absurd after awhile - we couldn't get the most simple task to work - opening a door.

We could not wait to go swimming so we put on our bathing suits first thing (seriously, I lost 10 pounds in 10 seconds in my new suit - the "tag line" isn't lying. Now they just need to figure out a way to lose 10 pounds on the parts of your body that are NOT covered...). Mandalay Bay has many pools (apparently Vegas has not heard of water conservation - most hotels have 1+ pools and fountains galore - and of course here I am supporting this horrible waste of water - a feeling I couldn't quite shake during our week).

There was one faux ocean with waves - which is very cool, but unfortunately our kids are too young to go in, plus there are SO many rules to be able to swim there - it wasn't worth it. Next was the "lazy river" which had an intense current to float you around the small river - very fun with inter tubes (but hard to walk around holding a child). At last we found the perfect spot. The "normal" pool that was next to the "beach" (they have imported tons and tons of white sand so you can feel like you are at the beach). This became our usual spot in the mornings and afternoons because there was shade, sand, pool and beverage service.

The weather was having some "wind issues" when we got there. At times it felt very tropical (a light warm breeze), but then the wind would pick up and became quite strong. Too bad we did not pay more attention to the strength of this wind.

It was our first morning by the pool. We loaded the kids into the stroller, along with our gear (sunblock, change of clothes, diapers, wipes, digital camera, cell phones, etc.) and headed to the pool. We settled into "our" spot by parking the stroller next to our chairs with our towels and got the kids into the pool. The water was great and Lauren and Kelan loved the pool. The wind started to pick up and before we knew what was going on, our stroller blew into the pool with EVERYTHING in it. I'm not sure if I could have yelled, "oh shit!" any louder (new word for the day for the kids). I quickly lifted Kelan out of the pool and told him to SIT and NOT MOVE (Dan was holding Lauren). I dove frantically to the bottom of the pool retrieving the stroller, cell phones, the camera and the rest of the contents of the diaper bag. Unfortunately, the phones and camera drowned. On an aside, I did learn that contacts don't float away when you open your eyes under water - not much of a consolation - but an interesting observation.

I spent "quiet time" (12-2pm - the HOTTEST time of the day) that afternoon walking around a not so nice part of Vegas looking for a Cingular Wireless corporate store (after being directed to a local mall Cingular kiosk that could not help me). With the tops of my feet burned, 2 hours and $200 later, I returned to the hotel with a new cell phone. Dan's work would replace his phone when we returned to Seattle (thank god) and I would get another camera when we got home (sadly, my camera and phone were already replacements for ones that were stolen last October - but that's another story).

Eating turned out to be more expensive than I thought. Whatever happened to all those cheap "all you can eat" buffets that were supposed to be everywhere in Vegas? Or maybe I have become super cheap and expect all meals to be around the price of our local Seattle taqaria. We ate mostly at the hotel (cabs would just add on to the dining "bill" and then what do you do with two car seats? Walking was out of the question - Vegas is NOT a stroller kind of town). There were many restaurants in the hotel itself - but we went to Raffles (American fare) for most meals. Kelan figured out that he was a "regular" by the second or third visit and started to announce his presence by stating (very loudly), "I'm back!" EVERY time we entered the restaurant. In fact he had his own little routine. After his entrance, we'd eat, then he would take off running through the restaurant (sometimes managing some laps) ending up in the entry hall to dance. The breakfast and lunch crowd thought this was funny, but the dinner crowd wasn't as amused. I personally thought it was hysterical every time he did it.

Other experiences included (but are not limited to) Lauren's allergic reaction to something (she got a really bad skin rash that made her SCREAM when we put sunblock on her or put her in the pool on the 3rd and 4th day), the kids not sleeping that well, Lauren's fever the second to last night of our stay, navigating the stroller through various casinos while attempting to walk the strip, and Kelan escaping and running top speed through the casinos.

The funny thing is, we had a good time. Yes, there are things we learned and would most likely do differently, but we did enjoy ourselves. The fountain/water show at the Bellagio was great and seeing Lauren and Kelan's faces while watching it made the walk down the strip worth it (plus they have great ice cream there). Things that kept happening to us were so ridiculous at times, that Dan and I laughed so hard we cried (and couldn't stop). And I didn't have to cook or clean for almost a week (you can't beat that with a stick). We spent days and nights together as a family and I hope that this is just one of many family adventures we will have.

It was not a vacation (we are NOT well rested by any means), but we have great memories (no pictures, sadly). I will always remember the way Lauren looked in her little sun hat sitting on a beach chair playing with sand (and eating it - with a big smile on her face). I will remember Kelan thanking our hostess at "our" restaurant ("thank you SO much" he would say on his way out, just before he would dance). I will remember asking my husband to bring me back some ice cream (after the kids went to sleep) and getting ice cream for himself and forgetting mine (yes I sent him back out to get some). I will remember this trip and laugh out loud every time. Viva Las Vegas!