Pediatric Punch Card

Kelan got stitches (well, one stitch) this morning. He's not even three years old and he's had stitches twice, a split lip/gums (3 times), a black eye and countless bruises, cuts and scrapes. My sister even made him a t-shirt a year ago with a picture of the Fight Club pink soap and the quote, "The first rule of Fight Club, is that you do not talk about Fight Club". I think we need the next size up.

Lauren is not to be outdone. Last week we spent many hours over a couple of days at the pediatrician's office and the local children's hospital (for tests). Lauren - we assume - had a horrible stomach "thing" which gave her diarrhea (of course), high fever, irritability, loss of appetite and extreme diaper rash. No one could quite figure it out - but not due to a lack of testing (or attempt to test). She had her blood drawn, many attempts to get a urine sample - I won't even elaborate other than to say this is NOT fun - and she was poked and prodded. Finally she started to feel better this past weekend. Symptoms are now gone.

You would think I could be in the clear for awhile and not have to go back to our pediatrician's office. I was wrong. If I wasn't so worried about Kelan's bleeding gash on his forehead this morning, I might have been more embarrassed. As I walked into the waiting room, I stole a phrase from Kelan's "Vegas" repertoire, "I'm back!".

We must have looked ridiculous. Kelan was in a t-shirt, diaper and his red rubber rain boots - no shorts - and a big piece of gauze stuck to his forehead with a band-aid holding it in place. Lauren was in a long night gown of sorts and no shoes. I was decent only because Kelan's fall happened after I finished getting dressed. But with emergencies, you can not plan to have them when you are "ready", so you wear what you have on (or in Kelan's case, not have on).

I counted up the times I was either at the pediatrician's office or the children's hospital in the past week: FIVE! My punch card is full - I should get my next visit for free.

I HATE Potty Training

We started potty training Kelan a couple of days ago. I HATE potty training. Why is it called potty training? They should just call it poop and pee on the floor training. I have realized that I do NOT have the patience needed for this - I may be changing Kelan's diaper until he's married (then his new bride can take over). I actually have a lot of patience for what my children "put out there" - but this is a whole new level.

People have told me that when you are potty training, this is all you do. They couldn't be more right - you really can't do ANYTHING else. Therein lies the problem. Kelan is actually fine on the potty and has peed and pooped many times, but now we're on a schedule every morning (sit on the potty the same time every day...) and I don't think he likes it. So while Kelan sits on the potty Lauren and I sit on the floor in the bathroom.

Sounds simple. But this is what is really going on: Kelan is getting on and off the potty (going against my constant reminders to sit), he's playing with the toilet paper, his feet, the toilet itself, saying he can't, then peeing a little bit, then peeing on the toilet seat and sliding off the toilet through the fresh pee. Meanwhile Lauren is crawling and somewhat walking around bumping her head on the sinks, playing with the toilet, then getting fussy because the bathroom door is closed. I open it and then she starts to climb the stairs (this is her FAVORITE activity). I get up and rescue her from the stairs, Kelan follows me. Then we all go back into the bathroom and start the whole routine over.

I'm trying to follow the "plan" which is to put Kelan on the potty at the same time every day and then put him in his underwear for an hour (the underwear helps him feel the sensation of pee and poop). Back to the potty for a bit and back in his underwear for another hour. Then the potty and finally the diaper (yay!).

I just can't stand the underwear time. He's peeing on the floor, pooping in his underwear, not telling me he has to go (and most times I ask him if he has to pee or poop - he says no and then goes on the floor). I remain calm (on the outside - but inside I am just getting angry and frustrated) and say, "it looks like you've had an accident, let's got sit on the potty." But then I have Lauren making a bee line for the pee/poop so I have to grab her, clean the mess, make sure Kelan is indeed on the potty and the whole thing starts over.

I want someone else to do this. I am exhausted by 10am and have no patience left for the rest of the day. - I'm totally frazzled. Today was especially hard, because after I put Kelan's diaper on - thank god, I proceed to get myself dressed so we can leave the house. I finish putting on my shirt and hear a "clunk" and turn around just in time to see Lauren falling down the stairs (she was only up about 4 stairs, but they are not carpeted so it does hurt). She whacked her head and started screaming. This all happened within a matter of seconds. So now I scoop up Lauren - make sure she's relatively okay, order Kelan to follow me to the car - we were going to the pediatrician's office! Lauren stopped crying within 3 minutes or so, but I was a wreck at this point so I needed a rational/sane person to tell me she was going to be okay. She is, thankfully.

Experts say to relax, it will happen (and so will accidents). My friends say this is just a messy time. I agree.

Begas Bacation

That's what Kelan's called it (he has trouble with his V's) however, I would call it a Vegas ADVENTURE. Vacation is NOT a word I would use - and probably will never use - to describe traveling with children.

The plan was to find sun, water and pampering. We were on a budget (and I wanted some extra luxury - like water-side beverage service) so the ocean was out. We settled on Las Vegas because we were able to get a great package deal with airfare and hotel (5 nights). The trip was all set - we were going to stay at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino (all the research pointed us to this hotel for kids...) - I couldn't wait! I had my new miracle suit (the "lose 10 pounds in 10 seconds" kind of suit), sunblock, sunglasses, toys and floats for the kids - we were set!

My husband and I are lucky that our children travel well. We have a mini DVD player for the plane that kept Kelan occupied and Lauren pretty much slept. But just because they travel well, doesn't mean it isn't work. We were EXHAUSTED by the time we got to the hotel (the kids are heavy, the luggage is heavy, the car seats are heavy...).

The first room we were sent to had two double beds (I had requested a king - so the kids could sleep in between me and Dan). This room would not work. I called the front desk and fortunately they were able to find us a room with a king bed - getting into the room was another matter. They said they could change the code on the keys to let us in the new room without us having to go back to the desk. Here's to the joys of technology! Too bad it didn't work. Now we are trying to corral two tired cranky kids in the hallway while they send someone up to help us. I started to get cranky and decided to go down to the front desk myself (of course they arrived the minute I got into the elevator). This is only important, because I got a new set of keys that invalidated the keys Dan was getting. So we had several "lock outs" the first couple of days because of which keys we had when. It just became absurd after awhile - we couldn't get the most simple task to work - opening a door.

We could not wait to go swimming so we put on our bathing suits first thing (seriously, I lost 10 pounds in 10 seconds in my new suit - the "tag line" isn't lying. Now they just need to figure out a way to lose 10 pounds on the parts of your body that are NOT covered...). Mandalay Bay has many pools (apparently Vegas has not heard of water conservation - most hotels have 1+ pools and fountains galore - and of course here I am supporting this horrible waste of water - a feeling I couldn't quite shake during our week).

There was one faux ocean with waves - which is very cool, but unfortunately our kids are too young to go in, plus there are SO many rules to be able to swim there - it wasn't worth it. Next was the "lazy river" which had an intense current to float you around the small river - very fun with inter tubes (but hard to walk around holding a child). At last we found the perfect spot. The "normal" pool that was next to the "beach" (they have imported tons and tons of white sand so you can feel like you are at the beach). This became our usual spot in the mornings and afternoons because there was shade, sand, pool and beverage service.

The weather was having some "wind issues" when we got there. At times it felt very tropical (a light warm breeze), but then the wind would pick up and became quite strong. Too bad we did not pay more attention to the strength of this wind.

It was our first morning by the pool. We loaded the kids into the stroller, along with our gear (sunblock, change of clothes, diapers, wipes, digital camera, cell phones, etc.) and headed to the pool. We settled into "our" spot by parking the stroller next to our chairs with our towels and got the kids into the pool. The water was great and Lauren and Kelan loved the pool. The wind started to pick up and before we knew what was going on, our stroller blew into the pool with EVERYTHING in it. I'm not sure if I could have yelled, "oh shit!" any louder (new word for the day for the kids). I quickly lifted Kelan out of the pool and told him to SIT and NOT MOVE (Dan was holding Lauren). I dove frantically to the bottom of the pool retrieving the stroller, cell phones, the camera and the rest of the contents of the diaper bag. Unfortunately, the phones and camera drowned. On an aside, I did learn that contacts don't float away when you open your eyes under water - not much of a consolation - but an interesting observation.

I spent "quiet time" (12-2pm - the HOTTEST time of the day) that afternoon walking around a not so nice part of Vegas looking for a Cingular Wireless corporate store (after being directed to a local mall Cingular kiosk that could not help me). With the tops of my feet burned, 2 hours and $200 later, I returned to the hotel with a new cell phone. Dan's work would replace his phone when we returned to Seattle (thank god) and I would get another camera when we got home (sadly, my camera and phone were already replacements for ones that were stolen last October - but that's another story).

Eating turned out to be more expensive than I thought. Whatever happened to all those cheap "all you can eat" buffets that were supposed to be everywhere in Vegas? Or maybe I have become super cheap and expect all meals to be around the price of our local Seattle taqaria. We ate mostly at the hotel (cabs would just add on to the dining "bill" and then what do you do with two car seats? Walking was out of the question - Vegas is NOT a stroller kind of town). There were many restaurants in the hotel itself - but we went to Raffles (American fare) for most meals. Kelan figured out that he was a "regular" by the second or third visit and started to announce his presence by stating (very loudly), "I'm back!" EVERY time we entered the restaurant. In fact he had his own little routine. After his entrance, we'd eat, then he would take off running through the restaurant (sometimes managing some laps) ending up in the entry hall to dance. The breakfast and lunch crowd thought this was funny, but the dinner crowd wasn't as amused. I personally thought it was hysterical every time he did it.

Other experiences included (but are not limited to) Lauren's allergic reaction to something (she got a really bad skin rash that made her SCREAM when we put sunblock on her or put her in the pool on the 3rd and 4th day), the kids not sleeping that well, Lauren's fever the second to last night of our stay, navigating the stroller through various casinos while attempting to walk the strip, and Kelan escaping and running top speed through the casinos.

The funny thing is, we had a good time. Yes, there are things we learned and would most likely do differently, but we did enjoy ourselves. The fountain/water show at the Bellagio was great and seeing Lauren and Kelan's faces while watching it made the walk down the strip worth it (plus they have great ice cream there). Things that kept happening to us were so ridiculous at times, that Dan and I laughed so hard we cried (and couldn't stop). And I didn't have to cook or clean for almost a week (you can't beat that with a stick). We spent days and nights together as a family and I hope that this is just one of many family adventures we will have.

It was not a vacation (we are NOT well rested by any means), but we have great memories (no pictures, sadly). I will always remember the way Lauren looked in her little sun hat sitting on a beach chair playing with sand (and eating it - with a big smile on her face). I will remember Kelan thanking our hostess at "our" restaurant ("thank you SO much" he would say on his way out, just before he would dance). I will remember asking my husband to bring me back some ice cream (after the kids went to sleep) and getting ice cream for himself and forgetting mine (yes I sent him back out to get some). I will remember this trip and laugh out loud every time. Viva Las Vegas!

Entourage

As a stay at home mom, my children go EVERYWHERE with me. My own private posse. This is why I am a stay at home mom - to spend time with my children - but when Kelan and/or Lauren are having an "off" day (or the day turns into something more than we bargained for) my outing can be quite challenging.

Kelan and Lauren have become "regulars" at my chiropractor's office and I have even managed to get rolfed with Lauren (who was an infant at the time) sitting on my lap. Grocery shopping has now become so second nature with both kids, that I can get in and out of the store (with the stuff I need) in under an hour. The key is to lock Kelan into the cart's baby seat and put Lauren in the basket with the groceries. I imagine this will work for not too much longer - she's now standing in the cart waving at the other customers. They have gone to my OB/GYN appointments, the dentist, my regular doctor, clothes shopping (trying on clothes IS a challenge), you name it - we've done it together.

This morning I went to the gym, with the kids in tow, to swim. They do have childcare there, so I don't have to take them in the pool with me, however they do make the trip downtown. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I swim for a half hour and then quickly shower and retrieve the kids (all done in an hour - needless to say I'm leaving the gym not looking quite the way I would like).

I started swimming two days a week as part of my training for the Danskin Triathlon in August, but this hour has turned into something more important to me. It is so incredibly ... MINE. My head is in the water for a half hour, so I don't hear too much except splashing. I can think about the day's activities, process my thoughts, or just count laps. It doesn't matter. I hear no crying and I am not responsible for diapers, food, runny noses, or conflict disputes.

There's usually not too many people there late morning - however one day every lane was occupied when someone came into the pool area to swim. I was just waiting for him to ask me to share my lane and I was actually planning on telling him no. I was going to explain to him that this was my ONLY half hour to myself in the whole day and since I can't go to the bathroom by myself, I felt I did not have to share my lane. He did not ask. My mommy selfishness/rudeness averted.

Yesterday I actually went to the grocery store by myself (my husband was home sick and stayed with the kids while I shopped). I got to use one of those new "fancy" carts - you know, the double decker one that no mom with kids can use. It was uplifting. I zipped around the store with so much ease that I was forgetting some items on my list. I realized this and said, "we forgot the oatmeal!" I would like to say that I said this to myself, but that is not the case. I said it out loud for any shopper to hear. I started to laugh at myself further proving that I was the crazy lady in the store.

Even though I need some private time during the day, I guess I need my entourage to make me look a little bit less crazy - or at least to be the visible reason as to why I am.

Happy Sunday

Today is mother's day. I may be one of the few mothers that thinks it's not a big event. It still seems like a forced day to celebrate. In reality, I think EVERY day should be "mother's day" - but I'll settle for a mother's day (read: free day) once a week.

I didn't grow up celebrating mother's day. My mother never made a big deal about it - so I didn't think it was something (I guess I always missed that HUGE section in the Hallmark stores - how that is possible, I don't know). In fact, when I went to college, and mother's day rolled around, everyone was ordering flowers, sending cards, buying gifts and planning big brunches. I remember thinking to myself, what's the big deal? Do people really celebrate this? Was I being mean by not even calling my mom? Most years, it never occurred to me, but as got older and my social circle widened beyond my immediate family and childhood friends, I realized that most people made a big fuss over this day.

Fast forward to mother's day 2004. I am pregnant with Kelan and we're having my husband's parents up for the day to celebrate his mother's birthday and .... mother's day. I had been celebrating this "combination" with my in laws for a couple of years now (I'm "pro-birthday" - we were all born, but felt it silly to celebrate mother's day). I felt that I could do this combination one more time, because I wasn't a mom yet (as a mom I really did not want to celebrate it). But I got the "Happy Mother's Day" well wishes anyway (I was a mom to be and that seemed to count). In the big picture of what actually matters, who cares really about celebrating or not celebrating this day. We were spending time with family and that is what counts.

Nope. I still don't want to celebrate mother's day. It's a made up day and don't want to take part in the party.

I actually had a conversation with my mother-in-law about why it was so important to her and why I don't "believe in it" for myself. She told me that she was born on mother's day (her birthday is on May 11th and some years it lands on the DAY itself). She always felt very close with her mother and it was their day (she's the oldest of her siblings - great mother's day present for her mother the year she was born). Well that is special. That makes sense to me. I told her that my mother raised me not to give it a thought - so it was hard for me to think it was important. We reached an understanding.

Now I find myself going out of my way to avoid celebrating the day. It's actually hard. One year I planned a trip to Houston (to visit my mom) and was traveling back to Seattle on mother's day - can't celebrate, I'm out of town. I have had the in laws out to visit the weekend before Mother's Day - to celebrate birthdays and not mother's day.

However this year my aunt and uncle came up to Seattle for a visit and brought Goode Co. BBQ and pecan pies (our family travels with food). We had a lunch today at my grandparents. I tell myself that I went for the food and family - but there's the "hovering" mother's day out there that I can't quite get away from.

Since I have had to go out of my way to NOT celebrate these past couple of years, I have developed an ill will towards this day. Before I did not even know which day it was (much less which month), but now I have to be prepared because it will find me and I need to be ready.

I know that I should get over it, but I'm not there yet. I figure if it is "my" day, then I can choose not to celebrate it. So for today - I'll just wish everyone a happy Sunday.

I'm a "don't"

I see myself with one of those black bars across my eyes in some parenting magazine's article on sleep . There's my picture (with the black bar) and the subtitle above it reads: what not to do.

Most of my family and friends know that my children have sleep problems - so this is not new information. Additionally, I have never been a good sleeper. (In fact, I recently found out that my pediatrician prescribed "happy drops" when I was a baby so I would go to sleep. What the hell is that about? I asked my mom what they were - but she doesn't remember). However, when your kids are not good sleepers - that is a bigger problem. I am up and down so much during the night that I'm getting a couple of 2 hour naps every night. Lauren wakes up 1-3 times a night and Kelan wakes up once but comes down and crawls into bed with me (and Dan goes up to Kelan's bed - our nighttime game called musical beds).

So last night I went to a sleep class to try to gain some knowledge on what to do to help our situation. I put Lauren down early so I could leave her home with my husband, Dan, and Kelan (she fell asleep pretty easily because she didn't take her afternoon nap - whether or not she would stay asleep was a whole other issue). It was a small group of about 7 families (I say families, because everyone had their partners with them, except one pregnant woman). But that wasn't the big kicker for me (I remember the days when Dan and I went to classes like these together.... now we use the "divide and conquer" approach to evening events). Half of the class were pregnant couples. The other folks had newborns. Okay, one family had a 4 month old. My youngest was 8 months older than the oldest kid in the class. These people didn't have problems. I have problems. I haven't gotten real sleep in almost three years! That said, if I had gone to one of these classes way back when, maybe I would have. That may have been my first mistake.

I consider myself a pretty good mom and have helpful advice on occasion, but tonight in this class I felt like an idiot. I was the only one there with two kids - so I do have more actual experience as a parent - but as I was introducing myself and giving a brief description of my "issue" you could just feel every one's horror with my sleep issues. In fact some of the fathers to be looked down right frightened.

Some of the new parents were offering up their own advice to the parents to be (what's the best swaddling blanket? pacifier? nursing to sleep? co sleeping?). I felt I couldn't say anything. Like everyone would remember what I said and use it as their prime example of what NOT to do. They had heard my story and would NOT want it to happen to them. Sitting in the classroom I felt like a big DON'T.

I stayed after class to talk with the instructor to get some personalized help, until I got the call. Come home - NOW. Lauren had woken up 10 minutes after I had left the house (and had been fussy ever since) and now Kelan was awake. I arrived home at 9:45pm to the relief of my husband and to the joy of my children. My evening had JUST begun.

Want to dance?

Kelan likes to dance. Lauren does too (although her dancing is more like the sit down twist). We dance a lot during the day to music at home, in the car (a buckled in version, of course), to me singing, and to TV theme songs. Yep. Everyday during quiet time I put on one of Kelan's favorite PBS programs (Sesame Street, Thomas and Friends, Bob the Builder, Dragon Tales, Clifford...) wanting to immediately start MY time, but I have learned that in order to avoid a melt down, I must dance.

I have learned the words to most of the songs and sing along with Kelan at the beginning of EVERY show. Normally I have to hold a Thomas the train (or one of his many friends) while dancing. The beginning of these shows only last for 15-20 seconds, but sometimes feels like its forever when I have to go to the bathroom, put Lauren down for a nap, eat something, chat with a friend (the phone is a definite no no during dancing) or one of my many tasks I have to do in my "free" hour. It gets especially tough when some of these programs are only 6-8 minutes long and they have a new song at the beginning of every episode (yes, I have to dance at every theme song during quiet time).... or when Elmo sings during Sesame Street.

However when I see Kelan's face while dancing - I am reminded that it is all worth it. His smile is pure joy. Isn't this why I am a stay at home mom? These little moments are WONDERFUL to share with my kids. How long will I get to sing and dance with my children - how long will they want me to? So when I hear the question (as I will inevitably will), "Mommy, want to dance?" My resounding answer will be...YES!