Trader Joe's

I should have not gone to Trader Joe's today. It was hell. In fact we almost did not make it - but for some reason I was determined. Why I continue taking my children grocery shopping with me is a mystery (except maybe I do not want to use what little free time I have for chores). Some days they are quite well behaved and somewhat helpful. Today was not one of those days.

After parking the car I notice I have forgotten my wallet. Shit. There is nothing to do but go home and get it - every errand I want to do this afternoon requires it. Kelan has already undone his seat belt. Lauren is dying to get out of the car. Nope. We have to go back home. I spend the majority of the ride home explaining (and re-explaining) that Mommy forgot her wallet and we need to go home to get it.

Half hour later we arrive back at Trader Joe's. Since the kids have been sitting for the duration, they are quite animated once we get inside. Great. Kelan is helping me get lots of things we do not need. Lauren is desperate for a snack (first aisle they have cheese sticks - thank goodness).

I am barely managing to get the things on my list, much less, control the kids. I should have given this shopping trip up when I forgot my wallet at home. But still, I am pushing through. Then I physically run into someone with the cart/kids. I look up and say excuse me, then realize that this is a person I know.

Now it must be said that when you leave the house looking like hell, you are going to run into to someone you know. It is also going to be someone that you have not seen in a long time. Lastly, it will be someone that you wanted to look good in front of (especially hair), and sadly that is not going to happen. The thing is - I rarely go out of the house without good hair. My friends will tell you I style my hair everyday - curlers, product, roller brush, hairspray - a refined process (it is a sickness - I know). So here I am with my hair up in a clip, a zip up fleece, jeans that have the cuffs so wrinkled up that they now highlight my beat up shoes, and the oh so timely breakout situation on my chin. Lovely.

No, this is not an ex-boyfriend. Worse. It is my ex-hairdresser, Robert. Here is a man who not only cut my hair for about 10 years, but who I hung out with socially for a period in my life. After I broke up with him in search of a new stylist (I just felt I needed a change) we remained friends but fell out of touch. I have a husband, kids and go to bed around 9:30pm. He does not. Robert is a wonderful person and it is great to see him, but dammit, I have bad hair!

Adding insult to injury, I have the misfortune of parking my cart near a vertical pole that has about 20 beef jerky bags clipped to it. Lauren proceeds to pull every bag off throwing them to the floor. Kelan thinks this is funny so he starts doing it too. Robert thinks this is the funniest of all and encourages the wreckage. Now just pull the bags off and throw them on the floor. Clearly he does not have children. No mom would dare say such a thing. Frantically I turn to Robert (while trying to clip the bags of beef jerky back on the pole) and say half jokingly, shut up! Kelan then turns to Robert and says shut up. Perfect. I corral the kids back into the cart - away from the fucking beef jerky - say my goodbyes to Robert and head down the aisle. I am exhausted.

For the remaining aisles, Kelan is constantly asking, are we done yet? Oh how I wish we were. Finally we make it to the cashier. Kelan decides to dance (and boy does he have moves) and Lauren is helping pass items to the clerk. There is a woman standing near me who says you sure have happy children. How very true. I do have happy children and that makes all the chaos seem worth it - sort of - I am still wishing I had good hair today.

The Joy of Eating

We eat as a family every night - something very important to me, even if it is just a bowl of cereal. Around 6pm, when Dan gets home from work, I call everyone to the table. This is when the fun begins.

Eating with Kelan and Lauren has proven to be a feat not unlike a carefully staged ballet. We are in constant motion: cleaning hands, standing up and down, moving from side to side, grabbing utensils from being dropped or banged, repositioning plates, cutting food, getting more food, picking up food from the floor and putting it back on the plate (yes, we eat food off the floor), retrieving kids running from the table, cleaning hands. Oh - Dan and I are trying to eat too.

If this production was not enough, I have two very different and selective eaters. Kelan eats a little bit of everything (and sometimes more than me) while Lauren primarily eats white food (read: starches), beef, mozzarella sticks and dried blueberries. Therein lies my challenge - what to cook. I try to prepare one meal for all, but sometimes have to resort to old standbys for the kids.

I can count on salami, but it must be cut up into little pieces because Lauren will shove the entire slice (or slices) into her mouth (and consequently gag up the partially chewed meat into my hand). If I cut Lauren's salami there is usually a good chance Kelan will want his the same way. Mini ravioli is a house favorite but it must be said that Kelan likes Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top and Lauren does not. Hot dogs (sliced in many pieces) are also a staple in the house. Although Kelan is in this phase of peeling the skin off each one - which makes for a very greasy mess. He is also in this phase of only eating the top part of his broccoli spears.

Lauren's dinning experience on the other hand can be over before it has even begun. If she does not like what is on her plate (preferences subject to change without notice) she will shriek/cry and refuse to sit at the table. If you do indeed get her in her seat, she will either push her plate far away or throw the food everywhere. Lesson: make sure there is at least one favorite item on her plate to avoid a meltdown.

If my children do not like what is on their plate, they do have a choice: this or nothing. Seriously. I am not a short order cook and do not plan on becoming one. Dan and I also subscribe to the when/then system when it comes to food. When you have finished what is on your plate, then you may have some more. This works on Kelan (and hopefully on Lauren when she gets older). At times, Kelan and Lauren have both made the choice not to eat dinner for various reasons - neither of them are wasting away so I think we are okay with them missing a meal.

So for now ketchup and sour cream are considered a food (not a condiment), vitamins are lozenges to be sucked on for seconds before they end up on my living room floor only to be found days later, likes and dislikes can change 180 degrees - and back - without notification, chicken nuggets are only good when in a Happy Meal and eating is considered a sport.

Ultimate Carmel Cup

I am a little embarrassed to say this: I eat ice cream every night. This is no exaggeration. I eat a bowl of ice cream every night. It all started a couple of years ago - after Kelan was born - when Dan brought home some ice cream. He knows I love carmel and he happened upon a particular flavor at the store. Ultimate Carmel Cup. The thing is, I never used to really eat ice cream. I could take it or leave it. That is until Ultimate Carmel Cup.

I could sell this stuff. Seriously. I love introducing the flavor to Ultimate Carmel Cup virgins. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. To break it down - the ice cream is three fold. There is the ice cream which is carmel flavored. There is actual carmel swirled into the ice cream, and if that wasn't enough, there are little milk chocolate carmel filled cups throughout this little bit of heaven.

I used to tell myself that I would only eat it when I was breastfeeding (I was burning so many calories while nursing I could afford to eat a bowl every night...). Well, that year came and went with Kelan, yet I still needed my fix. Luckily - for my ice cream addiction - I became pregnant again. Read: good excuse to eat ice cream for nine months. And then I nursed Lauren for a year. Read: good excuse to eat ice cream for 12 more months.

In the evening once the kids have gone to sleep, I shower (there is no showering in the morning with Kelan and Lauren), get ready for the evening, scoop out a delicious bowl and sit on the couch. Then I have a moment not unlike the exhale moment in the movie Waiting to Exhale. Dan and I do not drink, so there is no glass of wine to end the day, but there IS the bowl of ice cream.

I cannot be at home knowing there is not at least one gallon in the freezer (the picture above is not staged - this is what I have in my home at this very moment). It is like toilet paper - a must have. In the past, I have actually sent my cousin Laura to the store at the end of her babysitting shift to buy Ultimate Carmel Cup when I suddenly realize I am out (when Dan is out of town and I must be at home with sleeping kids). It is that good.

For some reason, I am not as big as a house. Of course it begs the question what my waist line would look like without the daily dose of ice cream... But for now I need/want it. At the end of a long day with the kids (especially when Dan is out of town) it helps me relax. For tonight, Kelan and Lauren are asleep. I have showered. Ultimate Carmel Cup has been eaten. I am going to sleep. Goodnight.